I dont know how i feel about christmus. I mean my io fam is all split up and i feel like i cant hang wit dem on da holidays cuz all the do is drink and fight.n But i do get to spend christmus morning with my pastors fam. Well i guess thats good. But i have hadea few reak downs this christmus seson. So i like christmus cus of Jesus and the presuents and 4 my pastor and his immeat family. But this is the firsgt christmus that i have hade to choose not to wit fam 4 my sanite. Cuz if i hear one more fight on the holidays from blood fam i will screem,. My family has been falling apart and theirs nothing i can do but pray. I mean i no dat god has it in his control. But i hate the feeling that i can do nothing aout it.If it wernt 4 da irth of Jesus christmus would suck. I was so ignarent when i was younger thinking everything would b all right while my family was falling apart and i use to over hear that adults talking aout depression over the ho;idays. I thought how can anyone e sad around christmus ut now i no y. I feel so empty. Even tho this christmus. Mia has been there 4 me (probly the only one who truly knows my struggle and its nice to have someone to spend christmus morning with. ITS JUST NOT THE SAME.I WANT THINGS TO GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS USE TO BE when things were fine and right. I love Jesus and he loves me. I guess thats all that should matter right. But i cant stop feeling this way. But i love u all and i hope ur christmus is happier.

She puts on a mask,
IZZY

P.S. thake u Mia 4 having me at dinner tonight. It helps alot . But Its shill hard.